Self-concept

Self-concept-the way in which one perceives oneself- can be divided into categories, such as:

- Personal self-concept (facts or one’s own opinions about oneself, such as “I have brown eyes” or “I am attractive);

- Social self-concept (one’s perception about how one is regarded by others: “people think I have a great sense of humour”); and


- Self-ideals (what or how one would like to be “I want to be a lawyer” or “I wish I were thinner”).

While a number of philosophers and psychologist have addressed the idea that behaviour is influences by the way people see themselves, investigation into the importance of self-concept is most closely associated with the writings and therapeutic practices of Carl Rogers. The self-and one’s awareness of it- lie at the heart or Rogers’ client-centered therapy and the philosophy behind it. According to Rogers, one’s self-concept of a mentally healthy person is consistent with his or her thoughts, experiences, and behaviour. However, people may maintain a self-concept that is at odds with their true feelings to win the approval of others and ‘fit in’, either socially or professionally.

This involves repressing their true feelings and impulses, which eventually causes them to become alienated from themselves, distorting their own experiences of the world and limiting their potential for self-actualisation, or fulfilment.

The gulf between a person’s self-concept and his or her actual experiences (which Rogers called incongruence) is a chronic source of anxiety and can even result in mental disorders. According to Rogers, a strong self-concept is flexible and allows a person to confront new experiences and ideas without feeling threatened.

Social psychologist have pointed out that self-concept also plays an important role in social perception – the process by which we form impressions of others. Attribution- how we explain the causes of our own and other people’s behaviour- is particularly influenced by our own self-concept. Social learning theory is also concerned with the ways in which we view ourselves, especially in terms of our perceived impact on our environment. In the first major theory of social learning, Julian B. Rotter claims that the expected outcome of an action and the value we place on the outcome determines much of our behaviour. For example, people whose positive self-concept leads them to success, while those who expect failure are much more likely to bring it about through their own actions. In a general theory of personality he developed subsequently with two colleagues, Rotter designated variables based on the ways that individuals habitually think about their experiences. One of the most important was I-E, which distinguished “internals”, who think of themselves as controlling events, from “externals’, who view events as largely outside their control. Internal-external orientation has been found to affect a variety of behaviours and attitudes.

Bottomline, you literally live what you believe you are.

I rest my case.

in the bliss of love.

valentines' day comes and goes, and i cannot help but admire, (with great, denied jealousy) the jc couple that sat opposite me in the train.

no, i'm not lonely. nope, she was not the prettiest girl. nope, he was not the best looking guy. no, i don't like the girl. nope, i don't like the guy either.

so what the hell was it?

i just cannot help but see how simple her stalk of sunflower was. i bet it wasn't even from him. i cannot help but see how simple her gifts were. i cannot help but see how happy they were when put beside each other.

at 17 (going 18), trust me, they knew what they were into. old enough to know what love, life and sleeping around is. old enough to do it, but definitely not all are to take its responsibility (la!).

i think they both were aware of their affections, but were simple and in bliss when they showed it.

so innocently chatting about a sketch book she was showing him, so proud of some creations, so proud of her listener.

he was so proud of her just ranting on. smiling, and enjoying the moment, the smile, the hidden laughters.

then, she suddenly closed the book, and covered her face lying on her lap. and he just sat there. not even holding her hand, he sat there touching her fingers in the gentleness like she was his baby.

and he was happy. very happy.

when it came to alighting, she waited till the buzzers went off, before rrushing to the door, taking one last look at him. smiling...

there were no bouquets, no oversized stuffed toys, singing dogs, no silly his-and-her cheezy outfits/bags/whatever, no public display of inappropriate affection, no kisses, no hanky panky.

she just looked at him when the doors were closed as the trained started moving, and i could see joy in his eyes.

just sharing of life, and the small moments in a stressful life that bonds 2 lives together.

i couldn't help but smile to myself, proud of them. for the obvious love they shared; displayed with such pride, maturity, and joy on the short train ride from bishan to admiralty.

so secure of their love they didn't have to show it off. so secure of their self-esteems they didn't need to prove they are desired by the other physically. so secure of their pride, they didn't have to ruin it by running their hands all over each other in the train (public?).

for a moment like this, some people wait a lifetime.

you bring out the worst in me...

there is no need for disclaimers in my blog anymore, and so i shall just write. today shall be a day i may remember a diseases called the world's big mouths, blabber mouths and bitchy mouths, or in short 3BMs.

the appearance of this diseases dates back into time, but has been mutated to become of a different (higher) level of deadliness by the arrival of the internet, and its formidability has been further enhanced by the blogs and publishing capability to a worldwide audience through the internet.

in the past, whatever one says can be rebutted, challenged and/or rebuked. there are ways and avenues for said nonsense to evaporate into space and forgotten over time, right? afterall, there is little proof of its existence after it was being said.

but now, alas, the advancement of technology + the need for bitching = irresponsibile fingerpointing, name (i mean mentioning names to call) calling X access to the whole world. it has been seen that sarcasm sells, gossips are glorified, and looking pitiful through it all is a skill.

and this weapon of the internet gets scarier with people passwording, and limiting the access of who readings the bitching. it is now kept as a private bitching; so justified as only selected people read it, yet the poor accused cannot defend him/herself.

now isn't that bullying at its' epitome?

where has the courage gone in the world today? if you have the guts to publish it online, have the damn guts to let all read, and have more guts the stomach the consequence of your sad, lonely, and very timid voice!

let all read, and make it accessible even to the person you want to bitch about! and if whatever you say, think, and do holds water, then what are you scared of?

either that, or it (whatever you wanna say) is just weak, shaking and leaky; that you just need a place to let your inner voice bitch in your loneliness and low self-confidence of letting all know how you exactly feel.

c'mon, think about this carefully, this is as good as print. the minute you click on 'publish post' and there is any form of slander, or deformation against anyone (incl. me, unfortunately) whether you passworded it with some 164-bit encryption, or some child's play javascript, the liability upon being sued is 100%.

even if it wasn't a lawsuit, i think being remembered as an irresponsible writer is bad enough. someone who is in so much insecurity that he/she has to password their thoughts and feelings. well, if you're real, what's there to be scared of?!

talk about cowardice.

i now fear the power of pop-ups, and if smart people can put their bitching on pop-ups to maximize the destruction of the 3BMs.

indeed, i may pronounce the curse, the curse of technology when blended with sore folks.

'it is not fair..right(s)?'

Lets talk about moral rights today.

The most ridiculous conversation I overheard today was at the train station, I was passing a Station officer who was reprimanding 2 young men, he went on, the only part I heard while passing was... 'is it fair that the passenger in front of you paid, but you just walked thro' behind?!'

And I thought to myself, 'he'd better go home, put bottle caps on the floor, and kneel over it; thanking his gods that he wasn't speaking to me.'

I would have asked him, in a world of fair competition, where does a monopolistic market stand? How fair can it be when the sole provider of a public service such as the Mass Transit Train have no competitor against? How fair is it to the consumer (us) when they choose to raise prices to make more profits, and we have no substitude to turn to?

And now, just because a teenager doesn't pay his fare, they scream foul and it being unfair the other passengers?!

Why don't they scream the same when they raise their fares? That it is immoral to not make less, for the purposes of providing a fair public service?

Why don't they scream the same unfairness when they raise the fares, and realise the commuters have no alternative train services, but to remain stuck with them?

And to make matters worse, they merger with a bus company, further extending their tight grip on the public service' transport industry, with a key, primary focus of profiteering; regardless of its fairness, mecenarily clanging on the cash registers to ensure that they are not shortchanged.

Oh, yes.. lets talk about being fair again? To the previous passenger or to me, who has been at your mercy of sheer profiteering.

Well, don't ever dare talk to me about being fair again to a public transport company, for the fares risen each time is not justifiable at all.

Don't ever dare tell me to be fair to them, for charging more to cash paying passengers, because the poor that are the penalized ones who cannot afford to pay a one time top-up fee of 1666% the fare, to enjoy the discounts.

Now, tell me if they have to moral rights to tell me to be fair to the other paying passenger, when they have shortchanged us, even good reasons for their actions.

How disgusting.

The Complexity of a person's mind is seen in how he makes the Complex, Simple; and how he keeps the Simple as it is.